Here are some things I've been reading and listening to these days:

• Our Public Meeting on Rest.
• Bart
• Henri Nouwen.
• Job 2:13

And most recently, this:

"...Doing what God asks is, of course, not something we can ever achieve in ourselves. Not only did God never mean us to do so, he intended that our failures in obedience lead us to surrender." - - David Benner's Surrender To Love

Can failure really be a catalyst for a deeper relationship with God?

Frequently, I'm disappointed, that the outcomes of my actions fall short of my expectations.

- As much as I'm counting on getting the job I interviewed for, and as much as I want it, I may
wait out this next week, only to recieve some disappointing news.
- I can't seem to get anyone organized, either to spend some time on a weekend over a meal,
speaking Spanish, or on a weeknight, to see a play.
- I spend some time planning a lesson for the English class I teach, only to get in front of the class
having no idea how to get myself started.
- I plan my cell in advance, and again, when it's time to sit together and share, I can't seem to
make the connections that will spark conversation.

I'm relying a lot on myself here. I'm relying on the plan. I'm relying a lot on the results, to feel good about myself when I go home at the end of the night.

And it's not happening right now.